If you're married (or engaged...or planning to get engaged or married...or if you have ever thought to yourself "I would like to be engaged or married") then there is one thing you must do.
It is the one simple, practical activity that every married person can benefit from. We recommend it for couples in crisis and marriages that have stagnated. We hand the tools out like candy as part of our Marriage Prep Workshops. It truly is an amazing life-changer for any couple.
What is it?
It's reading the simple little books "For Women Only" and "For Men Only." Written by the Feldhahns, these little books can truly revolutionize how you understand and treat your spouse. (Have no fear, non-readers of the world...they are a short, easy read.)
We are amazed at how many men and women don't understand the critical differences in how God has created the two genders. And we are shocked at how many people do truly foolish things in their relationships. For example, a woman criticizes her husband, thinking it will motivate him to change. Or a man gets mad at his wife for being emotional and not rational. These are truly destructive behaviors that work against our own best interests.
It's like feeding poison to your spouse and then being surprised when they get sick.
That's why we love these little books. They outline some practical AND BIBLICAL principles in response to the inner lives of men and women. When people read them, it's like light bulbs are turned on in their minds.
Jenifer spoke just last week to a woman in her mid 50's who had recently read "For Women Only." Note that she has been married for more than 30 years. She said that she was shocked at how much she learned. As she has made some changes in how she interacts with her husband, she said that it has been truly revolutionary.
So here's your homework: get your hands on these books immediately. You can easily order them online right here. We tell couples in Marriage Prep to read them in reverse. In other words, guys read the books written for girls first and girls read the one for guys. As you read, underline stuff, put exclamation points in the margins, and make any additional comments. Then let your spouse read their book. That way, it's not just a book on men in general; it's a manual on the man you married. It makes for some great conversations.
So back to the title of this blog...the Six No-No's for Relating to Your Man. Robert Lewis (creator of the Men's Fraternity resource) has written a great post for Family Life with some coaching tips for women. There are some parallels between his tips and what you might find in For Women Only. So that's what got me started.
You can read the article by clicking on the link below. I will post a similar link for men tomorrow.