Jon Acuff's Marriage Advice: Adirondack Chairs

I always enjoy what Jon Acuff of has to say. He is smart, funny, and often thought-provoking. When a soon to be married friend recently asked him for marriage advice, he focused on two words: "Adirondack Chairs."  

Here's what he had to say...


Adirondack_catThere are approximately 19 million books about being married. When you tell people you are getting married they will be greatly tempted to recommend their favorite book about marriage. (72% of the recommendations will be for “5 Love Languages.”) There are countless Bible Studies and small group plans and a plethora of other ways to learn about what it means to have a fantastic marriage.

But no one ever told me about the backyard.

That’s what revolutionized my marriage of 9 years to my wife. (I’m not a pastor so I am not required by Christian law to tell you that she is hott with two t’s and that I married up, but I assure you that both of those things are very true.)

Our marriage took leaps and bounds forward when we did something wildly simple in our lawn. What was it? What was our moment? We bought Adirondack chairs and committed to sit in them a few nights a week. When the kids are asleep and the day is tired, we sit out in our chairs. No iPhones, no books, no anything but each other. We just talk, and laugh and wrestle out the issues of the day. We give each other time to have time with each other.

Buy Adirondack chairs. That’s my best marriage advice. My second? Go to counseling. Christians cheer when someone says they’re going to pre-marital counseling and then say “What’s wrong?” when you say you’re going to counseling after you’re married. You need counseling. Before a marriage and during a marriage. Don’t wait for a marriage to fall apart before you work on it.