Do You Need Help Jump-starting a Conversation?

If you have ever tried to carve out some meaningful connection time with your spouse or kids, you know that nothing can be more frustrating than a dry conversation. You end up having that awkward moment that happens when you know you should be talking, but all that comes up is the typical "what happened in your life today?" stuff.

Questionmark This past weekend, we had a great Celebration of Marriage retreat at a nice hotel downtown with about 100 people from Johnson Ferry. On Friday night, we had something of a "dance" at the hotel. To spur interesting conversations, I put cards with discussion starters on each of the tables. (A few were original but most were plagiarized from various sources on the internet.) It made for some fun talks between spouses and small groups.

So I thought I would post those questions here.

Print out the following list and keep it someplace handy: by your bed, near the dinner table or in the car for your next date night. Pick a few at random and throw them out there as discussion starters. You never know where the talk will take you.

Here are the questions:

What is the one book you think everyone should be required to read?

If you had to write an autobiography in only six words, what would it be?

Which historical event would you have most liked to attend?

If you could quit your job today and devote your life to a single cause, what would it be?


If you were president, name three things that you would change about the country right away.


If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy?

If you could ask God one question, what would it be?


You are going to be alone on a deserted island for a year and you get to take three DVD’s. What would you take?


Describe your perfect day, from the time you wake up until you go to bed.


If you could invent something that would make life easier, what would it do?


What movie character would you want to be?


If you could be an Olympic athlete, what would you be?


If you won a prize that included a first class trip to New York to see an artist/band in concert (including backstage passes), who would you want to see?

How important is romance to you? What are some good ways to keep it alive?

What living person would you most like to meet? What would you ask him or her?

What historical figure would you most like to have a conversation with? What would you ask him or her?

What was the first thing you noticed about me?

If you had to pick a song that summed up our relationship, what would it be?

What is your favorite romantic movie?

What is your favorite love song?

What would the perfect vacation with your spouse look like?

If you could be the parent of one famous person, who would you want it to be and why?

How would you spend your ideal day?

What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening?

If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would you like it to be?

If you could re-live a day of your life again, which would it be and why?


Which character in a book is a lot like you? How?


Which character from a movie you've seen is a lot like you? How?


If you could wake up tomorrow speaking a foreign language fluently, which would it be?


Which parts of our home do you like best?


What about getting older makes you most afraid?


What is one thing you admire about each of your parents?


What is one thing you admire about each of our children?


What are some of your happiest memories about our married life together so far?


Which would you rather be: handsome/beautiful or incredibly wise?


If you could be an internationally known expert in any field, which would it be?


What things in life make you the most angry?


Which things in life give you the most joy?


What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?


What kind of person should each of our children marry?