The Science of a Happy Marriage, Part 1 - Celebrate Good News

“Couples who are most committed, intimate and satisfied in their relationship are those who appreciate each other’s achievements: Your wife’s meeting went well. Your husband finally beat his much-younger racquetball partner. One of you got a raise.

Marital scientists have found that celebrating even small accomplishments like these can help a relationship. Using a complex formula, researchers at UCLA and the University of Rochester measured how partners reacted to positive events in their loved one’s life. The researchers also assessed the couple’s feelings of commitment, relationship satisfaction and intimacy and found a link between the two: The happiest husbands and wives were those who made the biggest deal out of good things that happened to them.

The lesson: It’s not enough that your spouse knows that you’re proud of his accomplishments. Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen every day can boost the health of your marriage.”

Taken from the June 2010 issue of Ladies Home Journal magazine. From For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, by Tara Parker-Pope. Copyright 2010 by Tara Parker-Pope.


In Romans 12:15, God’s Word reminds us to “rejoice with those who rejoice…” I think the applications in marriage for this are huge. If we cannot celebrate the tiny victories in life with our spouse, then something significant is missing.

Look carefully for those things that are important to your spouse. Then get curious about them, asking questions and looking for the big and small victories found there. When you celebrate the priorities and passions of your spouse, they will know that you are on their side. It can serve as a wonderful type of superglue in your relationship.